We here at Sports Satire have gone line through line, not of the government programs that need to be cut, but of the list of candidates that would be a good fit in the White House. after concluding our research, we are now set to endorse Terrell Owens as the next President of the United States.

The country is in a tough way financially and needs a leader who knows how to deal with economic issues. Owens has proven time and again that he can create wealth.

Our country also needs someone who can take responsibility for their mistakes. Who better than to take responsibility for the country's problems than someone who will most certainly make everyone else accountable.

Owens has shown that he has the ability to lead teams out of the depths of the NFL. The fact that he has never won doesn't matter at this point. The country is down, and before a leader can come in and get America back on top, it needs one that can get the country back to respectability.

One of the most endearing qualities of Owens is his ability to stand up to his own party. He has over and over again battled his own team on issues such as ball distribution and decision making processes.

The United States is in a position that has not been seen in decades and we need a strong leader to turn things around. Terrell Owens is that (cough, cough) leader.