Euro 2008 Socccer Tournament: Italians Blame First Loss On Pasta Heist
- By Englar Stewart
- Published 06/11/2008
- General Sports Satire
- Unrated
Cruel Joke On Italians The Italians are well known for their fascination with eating. That fascination may have cost them in their first round game with the Netherlands a couple of days ago.
The Italian team has issued a statement that they feel they were wronged before that match with the Netherlands. They claim that someone snuck into their locker room and secretly exchanged their traditional pre-game meal of Rigatoni Bolognese with Ragu and egg noodles.
The claim could be warranted for anyone who saw the Italians play that game. They looked lethargic, and malnourished. They had the body language of someone who recently had their child taken away. In a word, they looked, devastated.
The Italians had relied on their pregame meal since winning the
"These people, they exchange the pasta for these egg noodles, but they leave the nice grated Parmesan cheese and the bottle of red wine. What sick a person would do that," said the coach.
Officials of the Euro tournament have declined comment, but insist there is an ongoing investigation. We tried to reach one of the officials, but were turned down at the door.
As we were leaving, however, we did speak with a trainer who was inside the room. "I don't know who took the Italians pasta," said the trainer, "but those people in that room sure look like they've been well fed."
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