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Barry Bonds 756th Home Run Ball Being Thrown Back On Field At Wrigley
http://www.sportssatire.com/articles/42/1/211/Barry-Bonds-756th-Home-Run-Ball-Being-Thrown-Back-On-Field-At-Wrigley/Page1.html
By Jerome Davis
Published on 07/2/2008
 
Today saw a wide range of drama involving Barry Bonds' record breaking home run ball. First it was sold to the Hall of Fame, then it wasn't, then it was again. In the end, the proper decision was made on what to do with the ball.

Barry Bonds' 756th home run ball will be delivered to Wrigley field in Chicago where one lucky fan in the outfield seats will get to throw the ball back on the field. It is a customary practice at Wrigley to throw home run balls of the opposing team back onto the field.

Today saw a wide range of drama involving Barry Bonds' record breaking home run ball. First it was sold to the Hall of Fame, then it wasn't, then it was again. In the end, the proper decision was made on what to do with the ball.

Barry Bonds' 756th home run ball will be delivered to Wrigley field in Chicago where one lucky fan in the outfield seats will get to throw the ball back on the field. It is a customary practice at Wrigley to throw home run balls of the opposing team back onto the field.

Bonds symbolizes everything that was wrong with the game of baseball, so the game came up with a way to salute his home run record. In addition to the ball being thrown out onto the field, Major League Baseball will order Bonds to sign a one year contract with the team playing against the Cubs on that day.

The object of the day will be for Bonds to go out to left field in the third inning. Then, the lucky fan who wins the right to throw the ball will have one shot to plug Bonds in the head with his own home run ball. Should he succeed, Bonds would then be hauled off to Federal prison for lying. Actually, that will happen whether he is hit with the ball or not.

Baseball's other three rebels will be in attendance for the ceremony. Pete Rose, Mark McGwire, and Roger Clemens will all be taking part in the festivities. Clemens and McGwire will be shooting Bonds up before the game to ensure he can make it out to left field.

Rose will be taking bets on whether the lucky fan hits Bonds with the toss. All proceeds from the Rose gambling ring will go towards a fund set up for ex-players that were in trouble with the law during or after their playing careers.