George Starworth

All of the talk of Tony Romo being tough has apparently went to the Cowboy Quarterback's head. He has said he is going to play on Sunday despite a broken finger. Teammates have urged him to take some time off.

Romo feels like he has to show off in front of girlfriend Jessica Simpson. He was caught on tape telling Simpson what a tough guy he is. "A little broken finger can't keep me off the field, baby," he said.

The New York Yankees are not going to make the playoffs by their record in the regular season. Major League Baseball, however, did not want to have the playoffs without the Yankees in.

Therefore, the two have come to a compromise. The Yankees will be placed in the playoffs as an honorary team. They will not have to compete in the first two rounds, they will just go straight to the World Series.

So what will become of the loser of the USC, Ohio State football game this weekend. Chances are that the loser will be heading down a path that will lead to the end of the world as they know it.

College football is big, so big in fact, that games like the one coming up on Saturday night could have devastating effects on the loser. To the winner go the spoils, and to the loser goes, well, the spoiled food.

The New York Mets were backed into a corner they do not like being in after Thursday afternoon's victory over the Philadelphia Phillies. That corner is first place in the National League East.

Several Mets had a hard time dealing with the pressures that come with first place after the game. Both Carlos Beltran and Jose Reyes appeared physically shaken after their win on Thursday.

Beltran was trying to hold back tears as he spoke to reporters. "I can't believe we are back in first place. I don't want to be in this position.

Josh Hamilton was having himself a dream of a night at the home run derby in New York on Monday. That was until a red jelly bean that he was using for luck was confiscated by men acting as Major League Baseball officials.

Hamilton was walking to the on deck circle after batting practice Monday when a fellow player noticed something small and oval shaped in his back pocket. The player, who wished to remain anonymous, claimed that he was looking at Hamilton's a** because he is gay.

Memphis guard Derrick Rose pulled off an unprecedented move on Thursday night. After being chosen as the #1 overall pick in the NBA draft, Rose signed his contract, then subsequently retired.

Rose was highly touted as the player who could bring the Bulls back from the dead. He was a hometown kid, who was supposed to bring excitement back into the arena in Chicago.

Shortly after being picked #1 overall on Thursday, however, Rose had a revelation. He wanted to get on with his life as a coach or a GM.

"Most players want to have a long career before they get into coaching and managing a team. Not me, I want to be different.

The Boston Celtics have made a drastic move on the day of game one of their NBA finals match up with the Los Angeles Lakers. They have ditched their green shamrocks for dill pickles.

The move was a last minute decision and has sent many fans of the team scurrying to the supermarket. The pickles represent toughness, according to a team spokesman. All of the shamrocks have been removed from the Celtics home arena, and have been replaced by vibrant pickles.

"The pickle stands for honor, and crunch. When a person bites into a pickle, they know their eating a pickle. That's the reputation we want here in Boston.

In a stunning and unprecedented move on Tuesday, the New York Yankees have sold all everything third baseman Alex Rodriguez to an art collector. The collector is said to have paid 200 billion for the purchase.

Originally, John Salmon called the Steinbrenners to inquire about buying the whole franchise. After talking to Hank Steinbrenner, Salmon was convinced that the only item worth anything on the team would be Alex Rodriguez.

After agreeing to the slae of Rodriguez, the two sides then got down to negotiations. Steinbrenner only agreed to the $200 billion price after Salmon assured him that the Yankee jersey that Rodriguez wore would stay with the team.

The Detroit Red Wings have put such a thorough beating on the Pittsburgh Penguins through the first four games of the Stanley Cup Finals, that the Penguins have conceded the championship.

Pittsburgh was supposed to play in Detroit in game five tonight, but they decided not to make the trip after losing game four. The Penguins players voted against the trip on Sunday night.

"We took a vote and decided that it was not worth the flight to go to Detroit and get destroyed in the next game. Then we would.