Oscar Baines

The Denver Broncos have decided that they must trade their All Pro quarterback Jay Cutler, but before any deal can be made, Cutler's agent wants his clients contract to be restructured. The details of their demands were revealed on Tuesday evening.

First, and most importantly, agent Bus Cook is angling to have a clause put in the contract that would allow for an unlimited number of pacifiers to be delivered to Cutler's locker before every game. On the pacifiers, Cutler's number and first and last name must appear.

No matter what the college football season tries to do to keep down USC and Ohio State, they just keep coming back. They are the animal in the movies that simply cannot be killed.

Every fan outside of Southern California dreads the words I am about to say. USC and Ohio State are going back to the title game. They can not be kept down and they will not be denied.

Miami has the Dolphins, the greatest football team. They take the ball, from goal to goal, like no one's ever seen. Their in the air, their on the ground, their always in control. And when you say Miami, you're talking Super Bowl.

That is the theme song for the Miami Dolphins. actually, it is the theme song for the old Houston Oilers, but the Dolphins stole it successfully. We here at SS have been touting a Buffalo Bills appearance in the Super Bowl. We don't care that there is still three quarters of the season left, we simply pick the team every week we think will win the whole thing.

O.K. Bills fans, I have jumped on your banwagon, but there is a threat brewing over there on the NFC side. The Bills, while once again showing why they are the best team in the AFC, have to be concerned about their eventual opponent in the Super Bowl.

At first we though it might be the Bears, but they have fizzled the past two weeks. Then we here at SS jumped on the Panthers bandwagon. That wagon lost its wheels in a stunning loss on Sunday.

The Buffalo Bills have become unstoppable in the first two weeks of the season, now they have set their sights on the 1972 Dolphins record of a perfect season. The Bills are headed towards the Super Bowl.

For the second consecutive week the Bills have dominated an opponent. This was the kind of demolition that happens only when a team is on their way to the promised land.

The Chicago Bears and the Buffalo Bills came into the NFL season with many question marks, but after the first week of the year, they have answered all their questions.

The two teams are now heading towards a collision course in the Super Bowl. Even though there are still fifteen regular season games left, it does not appear that anything will stop the Bears and the Bills.

There is just over a month left in the baseball season, and with the Yankees fading fast and instant replay making an appearance, their captain has had enough. Derek Jeter is asking Major League Baseball to have an instant replay on Alex Rodriguez.

Not actually A-rod the player, but the contract that he signed in the off season. The contract that was supposed to save the Yankees from having to suffer through the loss of their manager.

Tom Glavine has made a career out of working the corners of the plate. It turns out, however, that it does not matter how good your control is when your fastball is only thirty three miles per hour.

Glavine announced on Saturday that his season is over. His reasoning for shutting it down was simple, his fastball was no longer a fastball, it was a change up. There is nothing Glavine could do but face reality.

The NFL will do just about anything to receive attention and the same can be said for their NFL Network. The station that continually shows any game where the final score finished within three points has now gone over the edge.

The NFL has announced that they will be offering preseason awards after the last game of the preseason. The awards show will be televised live on the NFL Network, but subscribers must make concessions if they want to watch the show.

Prince Fielder apparently worked up an appetite when he shoved a fellow teammate in the dugout on Monday night. Fielder was seen at McDonald's shortly after the game and the word is that he ate thirty seven cheeseburgers.

Fielder ordered seven cheeseburgers with pickles only, ten with mayo and mustard, four with bacon, eight with tomatoes, and eight more with lettuce. What happened after that display was even more startling.

Richie Sexson who was recently signed by the New York Yankees was a lucky man late Monday evening. Sexson avoided domestic abuse charges when his wife called the police.

The cops showed up at their home within ten minutes of the call from Sexson's wife. When they questioned her about the incident she explained what happened.

Josh Childress has become a very good player in the NBA. That apparently was not good enough for him after he signed a deal with a Greek club to go and play overseas.

The Atlanta Hawks have become such a laughingstock of an NBA franchise, that a player would rather go and play in another country than continue to play with the Hawks. The move is not entirely the Hawks fault, however.

Childress explained his desire to become one of the best players in the league. He knew that was not going to happen in the NBA, so he fled to another country.

Pedro Martinez has had a rough go of it over the past few years. He has been on the disabled list more than he has been on the field, and his latest setback is his strangest yet.

A pimple the size of a golf ball showed up on Martinez's nose early Friday morning. He tried to use acne medicine to get the pimple down, but that did not work. Now he will miss his start on Sunday thanks to the pimple.

Martinez is recovering from a shoulder injury.

Scotty Nguyen, fresh off of his victory at the World Series of Poker, turned his attention to Phil Ivey and a game of Go Fish. Nguyen challenged Ivey while the two were playing in a heads up hand at the WSOP this past weekend.

"If you are such a great card player," Nguyen told Ivey while waiting for a call in a hand of No-Limit Hold'em, "then why don't you and me play a game of Go Fish, with the winner taking, say, ....$100,000."

Ivey was slow to react to Nguyens challenge, but after thinking about it, he accepted.

Ken Griffey Jr. has been waiting for this moment for a while now. On Monday, the pressure was finally relieved from Griffey after he hit home run #600 at Dolphin Stadium in Miami.

The home run was a towering shot, and as Griffey rounded the bases a thunderous ovation came from the sixteen people in attendance. The actual paid attendance for the game was thirty, but fourteen people did not show thanks to the perfect weather in Florida on Monday.

Roger Federer has been at the top of the tennis world for a long time. He has been ranked number one in the world for a record string of time, and has won almost every major tournament.

One tournament that he struggles at is the French Open. Today, Federer finally spoke about his struggles on the clay surface. "Tennis was made to be played on concrete, not clay. It's bad enough that the color of the surface is orange, but then on top of that, it is clay," he said in an interview with a fake newspaper.

Federer's main problem in not winning the French Open has been Raphael Nadal. Nadal has had no such problems with the clay, and was harsh in his criticisms of Federer.

Jason Taylor has already began his transition from professional football into entertainment. His recent appearance on 'Dancing With The Stars' showed just how much Taylor wants to be in the limelight.

His move on Sunday, however, solidified any doubts that he is preparing for his career as an actor. Taylor's agent has sent a letter to the NFL asking that next season, all the games be played with no contact.

The letter states that should Taylor be injured on the field, he could permanently damage his acting career. He is seeking for just a one year exception from any contact in games in which the Dolphins are playing.