Andrea Madsen

The New York Yankees have their newest member of their coddle stable. Pitcher Joba Chamberlain was arrested over the weekend after blowing enough alcohol into a breathalyzer to get the officer administering the test, drunk.

Owner Hank Steinbrenner did not go on his usual rant like he enjoys doing when in the spotlight. Instead, he played the Yankee family role, and Chamberlain plays the part of the child that can do no wrong.

The Cleveland Browns have suddenly thrown a monkey wrench in all playoff plans for the AFC. It now appears that after the Browns whooped up on the New York Giants on Monday night that Cleveland and the Dawg Pound are heading to the playoffs.

Forget the fact that their record is 2-3. Forget, also, that they have not been a very good team this season. They beat the defending Super Bowl Champions. That fact, coupled with some other facts from this past week of the NFL, equals the Browns going to the playoffs.

The Cincinnati Bengals have gotten soo bad that they are calling for a game between them and the other losers in the league, the Detroit Lions. The game would take place not on a field, but at a dump.

The game would feature advertisements by several big name companies including Waste Management and Charmin. Each would have five thirty second spots on television. The game would not be shown on regular television, either.

The Florida Gators have brought schedule padding to a new level on Friday. The Gators announced that they have signed on to play a Pee Wee football team from the Gainesville area in next season's opener.

The Pee Wee team came to the Gator athletic department looking for ways that they could raise money for uniforms and various other expenses that the league had to pay for. At first, Florida's AD agreed to donate some money.

There has been proof that has emerged in the case against He Kexin, the Chinese gymnast that won the gold medal in Beijing. The gymnast has come under fire for her age as of late. Today, proof in the form of her mother claims she is only seven.

Her mother told the press in an interview that her daughter was only seven years old and that she should not have even been out of the house on the night she won gold. She claims to have grounded He the day before.

Manny Ramirez has always been a bit of a wacky character, but his latest demand is way out of left field. Ramirez has asked the Boston Red Sox to begin negotiations with the New York Knicks involving a trade of the star outfielder.

It has become known in recent days that Ramirez wanted to leave the Sox, but up until now everyone believed it would just be to another baseball team. That is not the case, however, after he told the Red Sox that he wanted to leave the league all together.

Jason Taylor told the Miami Dolphins that he wanted to be traded. He claimed that he could get his dancing career off the ground better in a city where the weather was not as humid as Miami.

On Sunday the Dolphins completed a deal to send Taylor to the Washington Redskins. Once there on Monday, Taylor will begin working out with his new teammates. Before any of that happens, a contract will have to be worked out with the Redskins.

It has been reported that in the deal Taylor wants sixteen dance lessons paid for by the team. They will be held during mini camp, a camp in which Taylor would not have to attend under the deal.

Derek Jeter has come under fire from many Yankee fans of late for spitting too many times while he is out at his shortstop position. The fans feel he is disrespecting Yankee stadium by constantly spitting on it.

Jeter responded to the irate fans by claiming that spitting is just as much a part of the game of baseball as peanuts and hot dogs. Fans are not so sure, however. Many believe Jeter is telling former Yankees to go f**k themselves by spitting.

"I love the way Jeter plays the f**kin game, but why's he got to spit all the time. It's a sign of f**kin disrespect.

After spending a couple of months at home with his family, Brett Favre has decided that he is ready to go back to the NFL. He claims the few months alone with his family made him see the light.

Favre said in a statement released on Tuesday that he would rather go out and get knocked around by 300 pound linebackers than have to spend another day with his family. The stress from his wife has been overwhelming this summer.

"At one point, she asked me to take out the garbage. That's when I knew I had to get back on the field. I mean, I'm Brett Favre, not a damn garbage man," said Favre.

There is something funny going on with these Tampa Bay Rays. No, it is not the fact that they are in first place in the American League East heading towards the all star break. It is the rat infestation going on in their locker room.

The rat problem stared back shortly after spring training when the team arrived for their home opener. It was then that Carl Crawford first saw a rat run across the carpet in the locker room.

The New York Mets and the New York Yankees have been banned by Major League Baseball from being shown on national television for one year. Every game that has ever been played between the two teams has been on national television and MLB has had enough.

It used to be that the game of the week would actually be just that, the best game of that particular week. Now, the Saturday national telecast on FOX has simply been an extension of New York, Boston, and Chicago local sports stations.

In an effort to prove that Michael Jordan is the best basketball player of all time, many NBA advanced scouts have him as the number one pick in the upcoming draft. Jordan has not played in the NBA for many years.

General managers everywhere are fuming with the media having debates as to whether Kobe Bryant could be as good as MJ. In response, several owners and GM's have vowed that if they can trade for the number one pick in the draft, they will take Jordan.

Although the Bryant as good as Jordan talked has stopped since Bryant's Lakers lost the NBA finals, still there are GM's who played with Jordan who are holding a grudge.

Adam 'Pacman' Jones has been through a lot of off field incidents over the past several years since he joined the NFL. Last month, he changed football teams, and now he wants a name change.

Jones has been known as 'Pacman' to many of his teammates, friends and fans for years now. He claims that he has outgrown the nickname, and wants fans to start calling him, 'Atari'.

Pacman, he says, is too small for his big time ego. He claims it only represents one video game, and that he should represent something bigger.

The Boston Celtics traveled through the streets of Boston on Thursday afternoon celebrating their victory in the NBA final. Most of the Celtics, however, thought they were going to be a part of the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade.

The Celtics were informed after their victory over the Los Angeles Lakers that there would be a parade in their honor. What was not told to them was it was not going to be the Macy's parade, but a separate one that would be held in Boston.

"This is bulls**t. I thought we were gonna ride right in front of Santa Claus to end the Macy's parade. Instead, they give us this crap here in dirty old Boston.

Chad Johnson, who had threatened to hold out from reporting to camp with the Cincinnati Bengals arrived on Thursday. He claims he changed his mind about the hold out when he realized he would miss the free food.

It is customary for players to receive free food in the locker room during camp. Johnson had said he was going to stay away from camp unless the Bengals traded him, but the lure of the free food was too great.

"I'm an eating man. I like my food, and although I have the money to eat at any restaurant I want, I figured I'd punish the Bengals by showing up and eating as much of their food as I can," said Johnson, looking unusually big on his first day of camp.

Big Brown completed one of the most dominating runs through the triple crown races on Saturday by winning the Belmont Stakes. his trainers were quick to thank the one group responsible for his win at the Belmont.

After the race was complete and ABC had there first chance to interview the trainer for Big Brown, the comments he made was geared towards thanking Elmers Glue. The glue company did a tremendous job in gluing together Big Brown's hoof on Friday.

David Ortiz has injured his wrist in the most unlikely of ways, and now has gone searching for injury compensation from the Red Sox. He is alleging that his wrist was injured while signing too many autographs at a charity function put on by the Red Sox.

Ortiz was complaining on Friday about the amount of autographs he had been signing lately, according to Manny Ramirez. "He (Ortiz) told me that his wrist was beginning to hurt, that they (Red Sox) were forcing him to sign hundreds of autographs for three straight days.