Basketball Satire

Tim Donaghy disgraced the NBA for many of the years that he was an official for the league. He was an avid gambler that has now received a sentence of fifteen months for a gambling scandal.

Donaghy erupted with joy when the judge read the sentence. Afterward, Donaghy explained that he was involved in a betting pool that had to do with how long he would be sentenced. He just happened to have the number 15 months.

Josh Childress has become a very good player in the NBA. That apparently was not good enough for him after he signed a deal with a Greek club to go and play overseas.

The Atlanta Hawks have become such a laughingstock of an NBA franchise, that a player would rather go and play in another country than continue to play with the Hawks. The move is not entirely the Hawks fault, however.

Childress explained his desire to become one of the best players in the league. He knew that was not going to happen in the NBA, so he fled to another country.

Dennis Rodman has been out of the NBA for a while now, but he still believes he can play in the league. Rodman recently said as much when he was playing in a charity event for DRNM (Dennis Rodman Needs Money).

The charity was set up for Rodman back when he finished his playing career. People around him knew that he was prone to spending money on drugs and hookers, so they set up the charity.

This past week, the charity held their annual basketball game to raise money for Rodman. They brought out an all star cast of ex-players to play in the event. Former greats Kareem Abdul Jabbar and Bill Walton played.

Memphis guard Derrick Rose pulled off an unprecedented move on Thursday night. After being chosen as the #1 overall pick in the NBA draft, Rose signed his contract, then subsequently retired.

Rose was highly touted as the player who could bring the Bulls back from the dead. He was a hometown kid, who was supposed to bring excitement back into the arena in Chicago.

Shortly after being picked #1 overall on Thursday, however, Rose had a revelation. He wanted to get on with his life as a coach or a GM.

"Most players want to have a long career before they get into coaching and managing a team. Not me, I want to be different.

In an effort to prove that Michael Jordan is the best basketball player of all time, many NBA advanced scouts have him as the number one pick in the upcoming draft. Jordan has not played in the NBA for many years.

General managers everywhere are fuming with the media having debates as to whether Kobe Bryant could be as good as MJ. In response, several owners and GM's have vowed that if they can trade for the number one pick in the draft, they will take Jordan.

Although the Bryant as good as Jordan talked has stopped since Bryant's Lakers lost the NBA finals, still there are GM's who played with Jordan who are holding a grudge.

The Olympic Basketball Committee chose the players that will represent the United States in the upcoming Olympics later this summer. The team is a good representation of America. Criminals who have survived the system thanks to the power of money.

The featured players on the squad have both been no strangers to public controversy. Kobe Bryant beat rape charges a few years back thanks to the woman he raped having a shadier disposition than Eminem.

Carmelo Anthony was also named to the team. Anthony is fresh off an arrest where he was caught drinking and driving.

The Boston Celtics traveled through the streets of Boston on Thursday afternoon celebrating their victory in the NBA final. Most of the Celtics, however, thought they were going to be a part of the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade.

The Celtics were informed after their victory over the Los Angeles Lakers that there would be a parade in their honor. What was not told to them was it was not going to be the Macy's parade, but a separate one that would be held in Boston.

"This is bulls**t. I thought we were gonna ride right in front of Santa Claus to end the Macy's parade. Instead, they give us this crap here in dirty old Boston.

Ex-NBA referee Tim Donaghy has already been shamed by the American public. Betting on the games they love and hold sacred as a referee is a no-no in the public's eye. What Donaghy did this week in prison is even more shameful.

Donaghy was refereeing a pick up game at the prison where he is serving time for his illegal activity. Donaghy allegedly manipulated the results of the pick up game in order to receive cigarettes from one of the players on the winning team.

Maurice Jenkins felt something was wrong when he continually drove to the hole but was called for offensive fouls.

The Boston Celtics just completed their victory in game one of the NBA finals, and before they even went back to their locker room, the players were already praising the efforts of Big Brown.

"Boy, that Big Brown played a hell of a game out there tonight. That horse just ran up and down the court, and couldn't miss a shot. He was in some zone," said Paul Pierce.

Big Brown was lighting it up from all areas of the court. When the game was over, Big Brown finished with 124 points, and 200 rebounds. Afterwards, reporters asked Kevin Garnett how he got the nickname of Big Brown.

The Boston Celtics have made a drastic move on the day of game one of their NBA finals match up with the Los Angeles Lakers. They have ditched their green shamrocks for dill pickles.

The move was a last minute decision and has sent many fans of the team scurrying to the supermarket. The pickles represent toughness, according to a team spokesman. All of the shamrocks have been removed from the Celtics home arena, and have been replaced by vibrant pickles.

"The pickle stands for honor, and crunch. When a person bites into a pickle, they know their eating a pickle. That's the reputation we want here in Boston.

Kobe Bryant has come a long way as a leader this season. Now, with his team on the verge of their first championship since Shaq carried Kobe Bryant to a title, Bryant has reiterated his request from last summer to be traded.

Bryant has cited the fact that the Lakers post game food in the locker room has been racially inspired. The Lakers have denied the claim, and say that its not their fault that fried chicken and watermelon was the food of choice.

Bryant insists that if there were more white guys on the team like himself, they would serve steak and lobster. Bryant blames management for surrounding him with too many black basketball players.